Get a bunch of boys close together with a stick and someone’s gonna get hurt!

I’ll bet you thought Abner Doubleday invented baseball.  Well, you were wrong.  Here’s how it really happened…

Abner’s Ma was looking out her kitchen window and saw Abner and some of his friends just messing around in the back yard.  She came storming out, drying her hands on her apron, and declaring “Get a bunch of boys close together with a stick and someone’s gonna get hurt!”

“You boys need to spread out or someone’s gonna get hurt with that stick!  You with the red shirt, you go stand in that corner of the yard!  And you with the freckles, you go stand in that corner.  And you with the curly hair, you go stand in that corner.  And you, you with the stick, you stay right here by the back steps where I can keep my eye on you!”

“Let’s see.  OK, that leaves you with the ball.”  She looked around the yard.  All the corners were taken.  “You with the ball, you go stand in the middle of the yard.  That way no one can get hurt with that stick!”

“Awww, Ma,” said Abner.  “How can we play when we’re this spread out?”

“I’ll tell you what.  You with the ball.  You throw the ball at the kid with the stick.  You with the stick, you try to hit the ball.  And if by some miracle of God he does actually hit the ball with the stick, all the rest of you run and try to catch the ball!  And whatever you do, leave that stick here by the steps.  I don’t want any of you getting close together with that stick!”

So, Ma Doubleday went back to her dishes and the boys started playing, making up rules as they went along.  And since it was Abner’s house, when the rules started getting complicated, he went in for paper and pencil to write them down.  That’s how Abner Doubleday got credit for inventing baseball, but it really was invented because a wise woman once said “Get a bunch of boys together with a stick and someone’s gonna get hurt!”